i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
