I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Sober January is a disaster.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Hippo gnu deer
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
