Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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