just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
