I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
