I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
