What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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