mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
this hospital has no fireball
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
