Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
