What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
