We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
