Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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