Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
