No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
