I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
