Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
