new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
