so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
