so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
