I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
