Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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