I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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