the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
True strength comes from lack of pants
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
