Is it normal to miss your booty call?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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