So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
