Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
