I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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