I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
