barbara walters just said penis...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
