Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
