ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
