If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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