I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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