if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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