I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize
