See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
