I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
