I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
