The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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