Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
