Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
We smell like vodka and hangover
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