i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
