is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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