Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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