Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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