I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Someone came in the potted fern
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
