we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
