someone threw a dead crab at me
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
