I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
