My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
