oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
