The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
